Haunted is a novel made up of stories: twenty-three of the most horrifying, hilarious, mind-blowing, stomach-churning tales you'll ever encounter. The stories are told by people who have all answered an ad headlined ' Artists Retreat: Abandon your life for three months'. Read Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk with Rakuten Kobo. Haunted is a novel made up of stories: twenty-three of the most horrifying, hilarious, mind-blowing, stomach. They are led to believe that here they will leave behind all the distractions of 'real life' that are kee Haunted is a novel made up of stories: twenty-three of the most horrifying, hilarious, mind-blowing, stomach-churning tales you'll ever encounter. The stories are told by people who have all answered an ad headlined ' Artists Retreat: Abandon your life for three months'. They are led to believe that here they will leave behind all the distractions of 'real life' that are keeping them from creating the masterpiece that is in them. But 'here' turns out to be a cavernous and ornate old theater where they are utterly isolated from the outside world - and where heat and power and, most importantly, food are in increasingly short supply. And the more desperate the circumstances become, the more desperate the stories they tell - and the more devious their machinations to make themselves the hero of the inevitable play/movie/non-fiction blockbuster that will certainly be made from their plight. I don't know if you've already finished it, and if you have, ignore this. For me, Haunted was one of the most provocative novels I have ever read, but I don't know if you've already finished it, and if you have, ignore this. For me, Haunted was one of the most provocative novels I have ever read, but you have to get past the squeamishness. Admitted, it only goes downhill from 'Exodus', but my advice is to never leave a book right in the middle. If you really feel like you can go no further, read the last story, 'Obsolete'. It was the most thought-provoking, in addition to 'Speaking Bitterness' (that one's pretty graphic), and it really ties up the whole novel. Hope this helps! I'm only on p 75 of this thing and I'm about to hurl it at the wall. What is it supposed to be? Does this guy really think these lame parodies are funny? Haunted is a novel made up of twenty-three horrifying, hilarious, and stomach-churning stories. They’re told by people who have answered an ad for a writer’s. Haunted is one of Palahniuk’s darkest funniest novels. It houses his most infamous story, Guts, which is known to make audience members at book readings pass out. About Haunted. Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk is a novel made up of stories: Twenty-three of them, to be precise. The eBooks you want at the lowest prices. Buy, download and read Haunted ebook online in EPUB format for iPhone, iPad, Android, Computer and Mobile readers. Author: Chuck Palahniuk. This is from the section called 'Slumming', which is about rich people, a couple of whom are pretending to be poor: 'Inky always said being absent is the new being present.' (p 69) 'Poverty, Inky says, is the new wealth.' (p71) 'Social divers, Inky says, are the new social climbers.' (p71) 'Nobodies are the new celebrity.' (p72) 'Public is the new I'm only on p 75 of this thing and I'm about to hurl it at the wall. What is it supposed to be? Does this guy really think these lame parodies are funny? This is from the section called 'Slumming', which is about rich people, a couple of whom are pretending to be poor: 'Inky always said being absent is the new being present.' (p 69) 'Poverty, Inky says, is the new wealth.' (p71) 'Social divers, Inky says, are the new social climbers.' (p71) 'Nobodies are the new celebrity.' (p72) 'Public is the new private' (p 72) You get the picture - how could you not - it's the same joke repeated over and over again, a joke which Tom Wolfe was cracking in 1975 (black is the new black, with variations). So: is this supposed to be amusing? Because if so, it really isn't. Is it supposed to be stupid? Because if so, it really is. Prior to this chapter you get a spoof all about television and advertising. I find myself bleeding profusely from the extreme cutting edge qualities of this book every time I pick it up. Only in the world of Chuck, this would be ROTFLMPO - that's right, Roll On The Floor Laughing My Penis Off! Because it's gross, and it isn't that funny! ** Update: the hurl has now been performed, and Chuck Palahnik's Haunted sailed in a graceful arc then smashed against the wall, its guts spilled out and several rodents started gnawing them.oh shut up. Apparently working in a vet clinic for the better part of 5 years is precisely the recipe required to inure one to the effects of Palahniuk's writing. You'll see tons of 'OMG SO GWOSS!!' Reviews here, but this ain't one of 'em. I was entertained. All the blood-and-guts and bodily fluids in the world don't really gross me out. What really sickens me is people. And that's what Palahniuk does best: he writes about the dark sides of people and how precious little it takes to make those sides surface. Apparently working in a vet clinic for the better part of 5 years is precisely the recipe required to inure one to the effects of Palahniuk's writing. You'll see tons of 'OMG SO GWOSS!!' Reviews here, but this ain't one of 'em. I was entertained. All the blood-and-guts and bodily fluids in the world don't really gross me out. What really sickens me is people. And that's what Palahniuk does best: he writes about the dark sides of people and how precious little it takes to make those sides surface. I enjoyed turning the pages as each character tells his or her tale of how they had sunk so low. Even more fascinating was how each character manages to keep upping the suffering ante when they perceive they've not endured enough. And don't take Palahniuk's pretentious tale of Saint Gut-Free's story making people pass out at face value. I even read it three times through trying to see how that could make someone's knees buckle. Because I didn't feel it. Perhaps I truly did gain something from those years of shoveling shit from kennels and picking teeth out of the tub drain and plucking bits of unidentifiable flesh from surgery floors: I gained the ability not be grossed out on a dare. This book is vile. It is disgusting. No matter how much you can take, you will squirm and say 'Oh My GOD!' Out loud on the bus or plane or couch or wherever it is you read. It is a nasty book. But Haunted is so much more than that and so worth reading. Haunted is set in a drab old theater, past it's prime, boarded up, invisible, and impenetrable to the outside world. Inside the theater are 23 characters. 23 people with names like the Earl of Slander and Agent Tattletale. Each character is introd This book is vile. It is disgusting. No matter how much you can take, you will squirm and say 'Oh My GOD!' Out loud on the bus or plane or couch or wherever it is you read. It is a nasty book. But Haunted is so much more than that and so worth reading. Haunted is set in a drab old theater, past it's prime, boarded up, invisible, and impenetrable to the outside world. Inside the theater are 23 characters. 23 people with names like the Earl of Slander and Agent Tattletale. Each character is introduced with a poem and a story. Usually gruesome or grotesque, the stories eventually create the world each person inhabits, explain why they agreed to drop off the face of the earth for a while, and how they relate to the other characters in the book. Narratives in between the character stories relate what's happening within the hotel. How the characters are coping with no modern amenities or food, who has died and what the remaining characters will do to themselves and others to obtain fame and sympathy once they're rescued. While the stories in the book are (as everyone has said) sometimes depraved, they all aren't like that and the book ends on a beautifully optimistic note - though not everyone is going to think that way. Really, I can only think of two that made me want to stop reading, but I didn't - I pushed through. And I encourage anyone who is thinking of reading Haunted to do the same thing. You might just love it to death. This is honestly the worst book I have ever read. I finished it, only because of my amazement at how bad it was and how it never deviated from that. I was intrigued by the premise: a group of writers volunteer to go on a retreat to write their masterpiece. The book has a chapter of plot, followed by either a poem or short story from one of the participants. The book falls apart immediately. All of the stories/poems are obviously written by the same person. They share themes, style, an This is honestly the worst book I have ever read. I finished it, only because of my amazement at how bad it was and how it never deviated from that. I was intrigued by the premise: a group of writers volunteer to go on a retreat to write their masterpiece. The book has a chapter of plot, followed by either a poem or short story from one of the participants. The book falls apart immediately. All of the stories/poems are obviously written by the same person. They share themes, style, and emotion. Plus, they all suck, not to mention some are gross, just for the sake of being gross. Furthermore, all of the losers on this retreat so desperately want fame, they start sacrificing themselves to make a more heroic tale of their seclusion. My only hope was that it would turn out to be ONE GUY with multiple personalities fighting writer's block. THAT would have been cool, but no, it wasn't. Don't read this book! WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD. Instead of reviewing the entire novel, I will just be focusing on my personal favourite chapter 'Guts'. To date, there have been 53 known occurrences of audience members fainting during readings of “Guts”. This doesn’t surprise me at all, knowing the repulsive content of the story. 'Guts' is your mother, father, preacher and teacher shaking that disapproving finger at self pleasure. Needless to say, this short story will have you thinking twice about creeping that wondering WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD. Instead of reviewing the entire novel, I will just be focusing on my personal favourite chapter 'Guts'. To date, there have been 53 known occurrences of audience members fainting during readings of “Guts”. This doesn’t surprise me at all, knowing the repulsive content of the story. 'Guts' is your mother, father, preacher and teacher shaking that disapproving finger at self pleasure. Needless to say, this short story will have you thinking twice about creeping that wondering hand down your pants at night. The narrator Saint Gut-Free (who’s alias is explained at the end of the chapter) a specifically terrifying masturbation escapade. While finding satisfaction in his family pool by sticking his rear end in the water intake at the bottom of the pool, Gut-Free finds his small intestines -in Layman’s terms- being sucked out of his asshole. All the while submerged under water. In a desperate attempt to reach the surface for air, he gnaws through the innards with his own teeth. We have all studied anatomy and know that human waste passes through the small intestine before happily plopping down in your toilet. Let’s just assume that Gut-Free wasn’t enjoying a delicious five-star meal. However, the tale doesn’t end here. The Saint’s original motive in the pool was achieved, and the left over sperm later impregnated his younger sister while she was enjoying an evening swim. It’s not shocking that the family had the child aborted before it could be conceived by the preteen girl. Now, when asked why he is oh so heroinly chic thin, Saint Gut -Free can only smile. His six inches of remained small intestines don't allow much room for weight gain. Thus he is 'Gut-Free'. Not only did this tale send shivers down my spine, but a suppressed chuckle in my throat as well. I found Palahniuk's writing style to be unique and innovative. What captured me the most was the straight-forward, bare-all tone that was conveyed through the narrator. He, a self diagnosed compulsive masturbator and sex addict explains his experience all too vividly. It makes the reader feel as if they too are chowing down on feces infested intestines in a swimming pool. And of course I mean that in the best way possible. This book is incredibly uneven, that's its downfall. There are some really good moments, some really bad moments, and one or two truly brillant ones. Looking at it as what it essentially is; a collection of short stories, it's really no better or worse than any other short story collection, and actually should get extra points for its brazen audacity. The unifying material that links all of the stories together is terribly weak, and is what ultimately sinks the book. The first story 'Guts' is the This book is incredibly uneven, that's its downfall. There are some really good moments, some really bad moments, and one or two truly brillant ones. Looking at it as what it essentially is; a collection of short stories, it's really no better or worse than any other short story collection, and actually should get extra points for its brazen audacity. The unifying material that links all of the stories together is terribly weak, and is what ultimately sinks the book. The first story 'Guts' is the best. Not because it's so incredibly gross (and it truly is) but because it is unblinking in its logic. It creates an outrageous yet believable scenerio and follows inexorably to its horrifying conclusion. It's the one story that really stuck with me on a visceral (ha ha) level. The rest of the book reads like it's trying to keep up with the pace of the first story, but it can't. No story that follows is a strongly written or as moving as the first one, but more just shock value for shock's sake. For every story that almost hits the right stride (Exodus) there are those that just plain don't make sense (Punch Drunk, Something's Got to Give) This is the second Palanhuik book that I've read, and I think there really is something there. I appreciate his outrage at society, but I think he needs to dial back his delivery just a hair in order to create truly effective satire. He goes from 0-60 so quickly that the social commentary gets lost in the absurdity of the scenerio. If you can't believe it's possible, it doesn't hit home. Writers like Vonnegut push right to the boundary, then siddle a toe past. Palanhuik sprints to the boundary, then vaults as far as he can go. Vonnegut is a razor, Palanhuik is a blunt instrument. I'm not done with him yet, he's at least shown me enough to give him another try. Warning: The cover of this edition glows in the dark. Do not place on your bed stand unless you want to have a heart attack. I speak from experience. There are 21 short stories in Haunted. Some of them are amazing such as the notorious 'Guts'. Others are so-so. A couple of them are just boring. All of them are written to shock yet the brevity of the tales keeps both writer and reader focused. If this was a short story collection, I would rate it a strong three stars. Unfortunately it is not. Palah Warning: The cover of this edition glows in the dark. Do not place on your bed stand unless you want to have a heart attack. I speak from experience. There are 21 short stories in Haunted. Some of them are amazing such as the notorious 'Guts'. Others are so-so. A couple of them are just boring. All of them are written to shock yet the brevity of the tales keeps both writer and reader focused. If this was a short story collection, I would rate it a strong three stars. Unfortunately it is not. Palahniuk has fashioned this book into a novel. One clearly modeled after The Tales of The Decameron except as written by a 21th century Marquis De Sade. The 19 protagonists are revealed from the beginning as vicious and stupid and we are never given a reason to care about them. Page after page they make insane and idiotic decisions that have no basis in any logic or reality and no purpose but to shock. Some may say that is the point, the author has created a bizarre and surreal horror setting as an analogy. That's fine but what is the author saying? My conclusion is absolutely nothing. Palahnuik's cynicism is so over the top it destroys any attempt at meaning. Perhaps I don't get 'it'. Yet anyone who perused my book list knows I'm not easily offended. This is the third book by this author I've read. The only reason I read three is because Pahalnuik is one hell of a writer at least technically. And from the short stories in this book I know he can pack a punch when he wants to. But this will probably the last Palahnuik book I will subject myself to. This book fucked me up! King was the first writer to scare the shit out of me. Robert Heinlein was the first to make me gaze at the stars. Terry Goodkind and JRR Tolkien were the first to make me love fantasy. Dan Millman was the first to make me want to be a better person. JK Rowling was the first to make me actually pay attention to YA fiction.and now Palahniuk. He's the first writer that made me dizzy, lightheaded and sweaty to a near faint.just with 9 pages (Guts). Holy Damn.this book. This book fucked me up! King was the first writer to scare the shit out of me. Robert Heinlein was the first to make me gaze at the stars. Terry Goodkind and JRR Tolkien were the first to make me love fantasy. Dan Millman was the first to make me want to be a better person. JK Rowling was the first to make me actually pay attention to YA fiction.and now Palahniuk. He's the first writer that made me dizzy, lightheaded and sweaty to a near faint.just with 9 pages (Guts). Holy Damn.this book. 5 stars for being another 'first' in my world of reading!! Update: after having a week to reflect on this book.it's like Palahniuk decided to take Agatha Christie's 'And Then There Were None (Ten Little Indians)' and make his own horrific version. And Then There Were None is one of my all time favorite Christie novels. This is chuck's worst work. It pains me to say that, but its just true. A group of would-be writers on a writer's retreat each is given the chance to tell a story. The stories are all basically gross for the sake of being gross with little to no redeeming value. One infamous story involving a pool was so hard to get through I had to take 3 breaks. Its so descriptive and disgusting I had to take a breather for fear of vomiting (i am not alone in this, he read this particular story at signings and This is chuck's worst work. It pains me to say that, but its just true. A group of would-be writers on a writer's retreat each is given the chance to tell a story. The stories are all basically gross for the sake of being gross with little to no redeeming value. One infamous story involving a pool was so hard to get through I had to take 3 breaks. Its so descriptive and disgusting I had to take a breather for fear of vomiting (i am not alone in this, he read this particular story at signings and people would have to leave the room, some even threw up right there) I guess if you judge a story's value by how much of a physical response it can incite, then this is Grade A material. Otherwise I would say to avoid this one until you have read a good amount of his earlier work so as not to taint your judgement. People who are just trying to be gross can't help but be entertaining, no matter how see-thru their intent. You can't ignore the little boy who's trying to wipe his boogers on you, and when his parents have finally collared him, with anger and gag relex fully suppressed you have to admit the whole thing was actually pretty funny. Chuck Paloonyhoonyhookiak is just trying to wipe his boogers on you. When he's done with that, he'll gladly exhaust whatever other bodily fluids happen to be available People who are just trying to be gross can't help but be entertaining, no matter how see-thru their intent. You can't ignore the little boy who's trying to wipe his boogers on you, and when his parents have finally collared him, with anger and gag relex fully suppressed you have to admit the whole thing was actually pretty funny. Chuck Paloonyhoonyhookiak is just trying to wipe his boogers on you. When he's done with that, he'll gladly exhaust whatever other bodily fluids happen to be available to him. His novels seem to have been steadily leading up to this: a good old-fashioned gross-out fest, a chance for him to pull out all the stops and just have fun. I settled into 'Haunted', prepared for the worst/best, and got it with the first story, 'Guts'. This is the one that's apparently been making people faint at readings (though how anyone can actually lose consciousness simply listening to someone read something fictional, no matter how shocking, is beyond me), and it really is genuinely disgusting. Yet fun to read, a vomitrous tale well told. Unfortunately, the rest of the stories simply don't latch onto this gory glee, and, apart from a surprising and amusing tale of a hospice patient who is and isn't what he seems to be, the book becomes more and more of a slog, with a wraparound narrative peopled with irritatingly-named victims (I can't hope to adequately express how thankful I am that I'm unlikely to ever again encounter a character in literature named 'Comrade Snarky') meeting their inevitably vile ends. It's ultimately a letdown, but do check out 'Guts', if you're into this sort of thing. First off, this is not the short story collection I was expecting. It is actually a single-author antho-novel hybrid fulla leprechaun jism and other awesome rainbow flavors. No, I mean to say, never write reviews while on Norco, Soma, and about 2 hours' worth of sleep outta 36. I've been trying to catch some Zs since I got home from my latest hospital stay and it's not going so well. So what's better than fighting sleep? Drug-addled reviews. Raise the roof and down the proof! Standou First off, this is not the short story collection I was expecting. It is actually a single-author antho-novel hybrid fulla leprechaun jism and other awesome rainbow flavors. No, I mean to say, never write reviews while on Norco, Soma, and about 2 hours' worth of sleep outta 36. I've been trying to catch some Zs since I got home from my latest hospital stay and it's not going so well. So what's better than fighting sleep? Drug-addled reviews. Raise the roof and down the proof! Standout favorites herein have to be 'Guts', 'Hot Potting', 'Swan Song', and the uber-disturbing gender-role swapping of 'Speaking Bitterness'. The latter actually made me physically uncomfortable while reading it. One powerful goddamn story, friends and neighbors. In fact, if it wasn't for the poetry (the poetry might be awesome and perfect in its poetry goodness, but I haven't a fuck to find for fancy verse) this would have been a five-star read for me. All the poems felt repetitive, the exact same in style and structure. I stopped reading them halfway through, and then went back and read all the ones I skipped. Didn't feel like I missed anything. Then again, I'm not into. Well, you get the idea. Overall, I think they were filler. Not sure why they were needed because this book is almost twice as long as Palahniuk's most popular novels. In summation: You have to enjoy high-class low-brow humor to dig this one. I'm all for anal carrots and cream-filled CPR dummies. Bring on Make Something Up! Final Judgment: Glow-in-the-dark covers are rad. *waves at Nettie and Jess*. 'My goal was just to write some new form of horror story, something based on the ordinary world. Without supernatural monsters or magic. This would be a book you wouldn't want to keep next to your bed. A book that would be a trapdoor down into some dark place. A place only you could go, alone, when you opened the cover. Because only books have that power.' Chuck is right; you don't want to keep this book by your bed. You don't want to get up in the middle of the night and see is covet glowing at y 'My goal was just to write some new form of horror story, something based on the ordinary world. Without supernatural monsters or magic. This would be a book you wouldn't want to keep next to your bed. A book that would be a trapdoor down into some dark place. A place only you could go, alone, when you opened the cover. Because only books have that power.' Chuck is right; you don't want to keep this book by your bed. You don't want to get up in the middle of the night and see is covet glowing at you. Reminding you instantly of the horrors you read before bed, making your stomach churn. This is a book you can't read while eating, or when your wanting to relax. This isn't a book that will take you away from the real world. This book is a bitch slap in the face reminder that some of these horrors that you will read happen in the world around you, and will make you nauseous and shift around in your seat from discomfort. This book will make you glance up nervously, wondering if the others in the room with you can sense that your reading something so horrifically sick. You will feel like you need to shower after reading some of these stories, that your brain needs deep cleaning. But it won't help. These stories are going to stick in your brain. You're going to feel guilty for enjoying this book. This sick, sick horrific book. This book is more of a 3.5 star read. A group of people agree to participate in a 'Writer's Retreat'. Three months, food and lodging included, while you complete your masterpiece. The stories begin with probably one of the best, most shocking short stories I've ever read-called Guts. You just have to see for yourself on that one. Some of the stories the people share are more interesting than others. That's why the 3.5 stars instead of higher. The thing that amazed me about this book was the way This book is more of a 3.5 star read. A group of people agree to participate in a 'Writer's Retreat'. Three months, food and lodging included, while you complete your masterpiece. The stories begin with probably one of the best, most shocking short stories I've ever read-called Guts. You just have to see for yourself on that one. Some of the stories the people share are more interesting than others. That's why the 3.5 stars instead of higher. The thing that amazed me about this book was the way people act. The chapters that told what was going on in the house had me like this. Don't go into this book expecting an easy read though. Humanity at it's basest is what you will see. There are some queasy moments and I have a very stong stomach. I think someone said about this book that the stories didn't scare me.the way people act did. I was really excited about this one after being disappointed with 'Lullaby' and 'Diary.' Basically, it's a book of short stories each by a fictional author, each introduced by a poem about the writer, and linked together by mini-chapters about the writers' retreat they are all on. Trapped in a house and running out of food, they write, record, and videotape their experience, certain that when they are finally rescued, they will all become media darlings destined for reality tv fame, if any of th I was really excited about this one after being disappointed with 'Lullaby' and 'Diary.' Basically, it's a book of short stories each by a fictional author, each introduced by a poem about the writer, and linked together by mini-chapters about the writers' retreat they are all on. Trapped in a house and running out of food, they write, record, and videotape their experience, certain that when they are finally rescued, they will all become media darlings destined for reality tv fame, if any of them survive, that is. The first story, 'Guts,' had a reputation for making listeners pass out when Pahlaniuk read it aloud at book signings. My friend Jim and I also took great pleasure in reading that story aloud to oblivious victims. I think he even read it to his mom. My other favorite story is the one about the life-like dolls at the police station, just totally unbelievable. One critic complained that this book was 'too over the top,' and it's like, dude, what the fuck do you think the point was? Find all of my reviews at: 4.5 Stars WRITER’S RETREAT: ABANDON YOUR LIFE FOR THREE MONTHS. Just disappear. Leave behind everything that keeps you from creating your masterpiece. Your job and family and home, all those obligations and distractions – put them on hold for three months. Live with like-minded people in a setting that supports total immersion in your work. Food and lodging included free for those who qualify. Gamble a small fraction of your life on the Find all of my reviews at: 4.5 Stars WRITER’S RETREAT: ABANDON YOUR LIFE FOR THREE MONTHS. Just disappear. Leave behind everything that keeps you from creating your masterpiece. Your job and family and home, all those obligations and distractions – put them on hold for three months. Live with like-minded people in a setting that supports total immersion in your work. Food and lodging included free for those who qualify. Gamble a small fraction of your life on the chance to create a new future as a professional poet, novelist, screenwriter. Before it’s too late, live the life you dream about. Spaces very limited. A group of strangers responds to this advertisement and find themselves locked away – literally. With no way out and a cast of characters who aim to make their own personal experience worse than anyone else’s, the group soon finds themselves with no heat, little electricity and, let’s say, only unconventional food sources. A novel woven together with short stories and “poems” – a reader like me who generally doesn’t appreciate the short story gets the best of both worlds. This is Palahniuk at his best. I don’t even fucking know anymore. God he’s twisted. And barf-inducing. Whoops, wrong Barf. Palahniuk immediately goes off the rails with the story “Guts”. If you can make it through that tale, you’ll be able make it through the rest of the book – but not without asking yourself the question If you’re extra lucky, you’ll find yourself being asked by your family members “why do you have that horrified look on your face?” and get a chance to share your experiences with the whole gang... Family bonding at its best. Oh Chuck, you sick bastard. When you’re on – you are ON, and I am left speechless. Recommended to????? If I want a clear conscience the answer should be ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, but in reality???? Stopped on page 25 I can't finish this. This book is weird and disgusting and gut wrenching. I decided to read this book because I read in a group comment that it was the weirdest thing they've ever read. So I decided to give it a try. Just fucking no. Stories about some kid sodomising himself with a fucking carrot and some Vaseline; a teenager jacking off with some candle wax -- THROUGH HIS PISS HOLE. The storyteller jacking off in a pool hovering over th I. Stopped on page 25 I can't finish this. This book is weird and disgusting and gut wrenching. I decided to read this book because I read in a group comment that it was the weirdest thing they've ever read. So I decided to give it a try. Just fucking no. Stories about some kid sodomising himself with a fucking carrot and some Vaseline; a teenager jacking off with some candle wax -- THROUGH HIS PISS HOLE. The storyteller jacking off in a pool hovering over the pool's suction shit so it's basically eating his ass whilst he jacks off and next thing you know it's sucking up his guts and he has to eat his asshole out to save himself. Occasional sentences about doing what the French do or some weird shit. What the fuck. 'My goal was just to write some new form of horror story, something based on the ordinary world. Without supernatural monsters or magic. This would be a book you wouldn't keep next to your bed.' -- Chuck Palahniuk Mr Palahniuk, this isn't horror, this is some vile shit, sir. Vile, vile, shit. I get you wanted horror without supernatural monsters or magic, but these stories are not it! Read some of Stephen King's works for some real ordinary world horror -- Misery, for example. That's some nerve-racking stuff. That's horror. (shakes my head). My eyes felt as though they were about to pop out my head whilst I was reading. Excuse me, going to brush my eyeballs and brain to remove the images and thoughts I've just read. The author was right about one thing: This is a book I will not be keeping next to my bed. My God, what to say about this one? Probably this: Haunted was messed up and engaging to the fullest. I'm always floored when an author serves up something genuinely different. In a book market where so many offerings are so goddamn painfully similar (right down to the titles. Can we get another book with the word 'Girl' or 'Dark' in the title please?) it's a real treat when you read something that stands out and rises above the rest for not being like the others. It's even more rewarding when My God, what to say about this one? Probably this: Haunted was messed up and engaging to the fullest. I'm always floored when an author serves up something genuinely different. In a book market where so many offerings are so goddamn painfully similar (right down to the titles. Can we get another book with the word 'Girl' or 'Dark' in the title please?) it's a real treat when you read something that stands out and rises above the rest for not being like the others. It's even more rewarding when such a different drummer has the chops to blow your mind. Haunted is a collection of stories and characters that will absolutely make your skin crawl, and it's mind-boggling how much territory it covers, almost all of it located in left field. It's doubtful that you've ever read anything quite comparable (that goes for most of Palahniuk's other work too). The way Chuck can expand an idea or create a plot from the most unexpected places, then making it compelling and riveting and. Well, let's just say you've never read anything like it. Like the tale of man who literally lost his guts, or the sociopath with a bowling ball, or the cross-dressing terrorist, or the DIY porn couple gone wrong, or the foot masseur turned assassin. These are crazy, fascinating, disturbing tales you won't soon forget. Haunted is gross. It's sick, twisted, funny, sad, shocking; hell it's practically a trigger for every intense feeling humans are capable of having. It's well-written and engaging and beyond all else it is different. And today's storytelling landscape definitely needs a lot more 'different'. The book was a difficult read. Even more difficult to review. I struggled with how many stars to give it to the point where I've waited a few weeks to even write a review. It wasn't my favorite book by any means but I didn't hate it either. What it did do was stir so much visceral emotion that I haven't been able to pick up another book since. A reaction that intense warrants recognition so I reluctantly opted for 4 stars purely on its dark influence over my joy of reading (or lack there of now) The book was a difficult read. Even more difficult to review. I struggled with how many stars to give it to the point where I've waited a few weeks to even write a review. It wasn't my favorite book by any means but I didn't hate it either. What it did do was stir so much visceral emotion that I haven't been able to pick up another book since. A reaction that intense warrants recognition so I reluctantly opted for 4 stars purely on its dark influence over my joy of reading (or lack there of now). Any book that could turn me off from all other books for a while is a book that I'll be talking about for a long time. This novel is not a book I would recommend lightly. It is not a book that I would recommend to many people at all in fact. The reader is going to require a specific taste in entertainment to be able to, first of all, finish the book and, second, do it and still consider me a friend afterwards. The overall disturbing and disjointed nature of the novel takes an attention span and an iron stomach. The twisted black humor will be lost on most but the few able to see it will enjoy the social commentary on a society obsessed with fame at any cost and the overwhelming selfishness that can drive seemingly ordinary people to climb over one another's lifeless corpses to achieve it. Do not pick this book up if you're a light reader. Do not pick this book up if you are not prepared. Do not pick this book up if you have a weak stomach. Do not pick this book up if you are easily offended. Do not pick this book up if you do not enjoy exploring the darker side of human nature. Do not pick this book up if you don't stifle a smile at the misfortune of your enemies. Do not pick this book up. I'd just go ahead and skip it. This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, Sometimes in the humor section of the bookstore you can find a spoof of a popular book or writer. That's not what Haunted is, but it's the first thing that comes to mind. While the cover promises that Haunted is 'A Novel,' the innards tell a different story: 24 short short stories and 24 prose poems tied together by a thin framing device. This frame is supposed to evoke storytelling parties of the past, such as the Canterbury Tales or the Decameron, in which the participants each tell a story. He Sometimes in the humor section of the bookstore you can find a spoof of a popular book or writer. That's not what Haunted is, but it's the first thing that comes to mind. While the cover promises that Haunted is 'A Novel,' the innards tell a different story: 24 short short stories and 24 prose poems tied together by a thin framing device. This frame is supposed to evoke storytelling parties of the past, such as the Canterbury Tales or the Decameron, in which the participants each tell a story. Henry James' 'Turn of the Screw' was structured similarly. In Haunted, each of the semi-anonymous characters from the frame 'novel' tell a story and have a poem told about them. The problem with this approach is that every character tells their story as if they were Chuck Palahniuk, and about halfway through bits of the framing device start slipping into the stories. The novel itself is narrated in first-person although the narrator never participates in any of the activities of the others. And oh, the activities! The basic hook for the novel here is that a group of aspiring writers have gone off on a weird 'Writer's Retreat' in which they hole up in an abandoned movie theater somewhere for 90 days. The dust jacket tells us this is 'a satire of reality television' -- and sure, the group of strangers locked in a house together is a common reality TV trope. But if this were a satire of Chuck Palahniuk, what would happen? What would happen is that the writers would all have horrible personal problems, would begin worshiping at the First Church of Self-Destruction, they would start talking like coroners and doctors with jargon littering their dialogue, they would repeat themselves with a chorus, and they'd throw up a bunch of plot twists. And that's just what happens. For no reason at all, except that the participants of this 'Writer's Retreat' think they can cash in someday if they suffer enough, start chopping off fingers, starving themselves, sabotaging the environmental controls, and consuming human flesh. Palahniuk is best when he's right at the edge of absurd. Fight Club was there. Survivor and Choke were at the precipice. Those novels worked. Even with its flaws, Rant toed the long drop. But Haunted hurls itself into the abyss, and I understand how Chuck writes and I understand how Chuck wants you to feel when you're reading his books, and this isn't it. This book makes you exclaim aloud 'This is fucking ridiculous.' These complaints are all about the framing device, the Canterbury participants with stupid nicknames like 'Earl of Slander' and 'Lady Baglady.' The morons like 'The Matchmaker' or 'Agent Tattletale' who chop off all but two of their fingers but are still described as holding objects. If this were a Chuck Palahniuk satire, would one character chop off their penis and another choke to death on it? Would a story involving dressing in drag and getting your ass kicked lead to fundraising for crashing planes? You bet it would. Haunted is an obnoxious mess that fails to get any reader buy-in to the things the characters are doing, and Chuck's signature style is turned up to eleven -- to the point that you're constantly reminded that you're reading a book by an author with an identifiable style. Would a Chuck Palahniuk satire be written that way? So Haunted is, at best, a self-satire by a writer who maybe recognizes his own tropes and wants to poke a little bit of fun. At worst, it's an unsuccessful experiment at creating a compelling anthology novel. The stories themselves are mostly really good, but as presented it feels like Chuck cleaned out a file named 'Novel Ideas' and threw them into this stew instead of developing them individually. Of stand-out note are 'Guts,' which Chuck read aloud on his 'Diary' tour and was previously published in Playboy. It's plotless but has a decent 1-2-3 punch to it. 'The Nightmare Box' is a great little scary story. 'Dissertation' feels like it could get some legs under it. 'Obsolete' is a fun piece of speculative fiction. 'Evil Spirits' is good enough it should go somewhere, but it doesn't. Many of the others are simply average, and a few are completely forgettable ('Ritual', 'Green Room', 'Speaking Bitterness'). My advice: if you're going to read this book, skip the 'Chapters' and the poems, and just read the stories. The attempt to add context to them with the weak writer's-retreat frame doesn't work. Don't be fooled, I may have chosen 5 stars for this novel, but not because I loved it. This book is dynamic. This novel looks so innocent and harmless, sitting there with it's ghostly lavender and white cover and 'Fight Club' was great, I'll give it a read. This novel will stretch you to breaking point and beyond what you have ever read before. To give an example, when Chuck Palahniuk gives a public reading of the short story 'Guts', the ambulance shows up before the end of it. People have fainted Don't be fooled, I may have chosen 5 stars for this novel, but not because I loved it. This book is dynamic. This novel looks so innocent and harmless, sitting there with it's ghostly lavender and white cover and 'Fight Club' was great, I'll give it a read. This novel will stretch you to breaking point and beyond what you have ever read before. To give an example, when Chuck Palahniuk gives a public reading of the short story 'Guts', the ambulance shows up before the end of it. People have fainted, vomited and moaned in disgust over this story. I was not able to read through the whole chapter, I felt very dizzy. And I think this is only chapter two. Things go awry when these strangers gather for a writing retreat and the rest seems like an experiment in how horrible people can possibly be to each other. The format is an overarching story about the downward spiral of the retreat and peppered with the short stories of the attendees. The end short story is the best, if you can make it that far. There is no 'Love-hate' icon for this story. This book is horrifying in the experience; not unlike an STD it stays with you and you have to learn to live with the experience you had with it. I want to recommend it, but I'm afraid it's like going to bed with someone and not telling them you have AIDS. The reason you don't want to tell them is that you want to share the misery. You'll feel blindsided even if you are prepared for it. I suppose this would be extreme reading; but is somewhat of an underground cult-classic. Bring it up with the artistic circles or geeks alike and you will have found at least one or more persons who's read 'Guts' at least. All in all Palahnuik has realized and exercised the right to be as explicit as possible, because books don't come with a Parental Advisory or MPAA rating. I gave my copy away, but I downloaded the audio. I had a hard time finishing Haunted, if you wanna know the truth. But it's just the way I like it, the way it is. There’s really no easy way to read a Chuck book. Some stories were a waste of time. Some were just too excellent: Guts, Exodus, Box-shit, and that scene or whatever it was when Comrade Snarky said, 'I fainted.and you ate my ass?” “You fed me my own ass?” Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! As a whole, the book has a disoriented flow. If we talk about music, it'll be like a beautiful so I had a hard time finishing Haunted, if you wanna know the truth. But it's just the way I like it, the way it is. There’s really no easy way to read a Chuck book. Some stories were a waste of time. Some were just too excellent: Guts, Exodus, Box-shit, and that scene or whatever it was when Comrade Snarky said, 'I fainted.and you ate my ass?” “You fed me my own ass?” Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! As a whole, the book has a disoriented flow. If we talk about music, it'll be like a beautiful sound of discordant notes fitting together into the music sheet played by the orchestra to your ears. But hey, this book, in its truest nature, causes both psychological and physiological disorientation. Fucking gory and gross. Especially that part wherein someone was rotting in the forest. The writing there was beyond excellent. Some stories and scenes just stand alone. Live all by itself. They can survive without the other or without being in the book. The way this book was written was really eccentric. You can get lost easily if you're not used to the way Chucky writes. This book requires a high dose of patience—if you don't have it, then don't read it. It's not reader-friendly. At some parts of the book, you'll tell yourself, 'Why the fuck am I still reading this?' Or 'This is a waste of fucking time.' I told myself that—lots of times. That’s a normal experience though when you’re reading a Chuck book. Writers' Retreat, being away from the world of three months to create their own masterpiece—Disasterpieces; this made me think of the Fucking Show titled Big Brother. Inside this book exists really fucked-up characters. Disgusting, I must say. The idea was really an innovation. And as usual, the sick twisted mind of the author didn't fail to make me applause using one hand. In the first place, I didn't know I can do it. This is the new taste of horror, as Chuck said; it’s like humor and horror inside a bottle of beer. Really funny. The world is meant for suffering—for you to suffer. If you understand that, you might chase suffering—and suffering might run away from you. You might even need to feel you're suffering just to feel you're alive and life is worth living. Quoting from Mr. Whittier (a creature from this book), 'Think of a rock polisher, one of those drums, goes round and round, rolls twenty-four/seven, full of water and rocks and gravel. Grinding it all up. Round and round. Polishing those ugly rocks into gemstones. That’s the earth. Why it goes around. We’re the rocks. And what happens to us—the drama and pain and joy and war and sickness and victory and abuse—why, that’s just the water and sand to erode us. Grind us down. To polish us up, nice and bright.' On the characters’ attempt to metamorphose their sufferings into something they can sell, they craft it into stories. They distort it. Make it worse. Make it better. Make it unreal.The story behind the story behind the story. The truth behind the truth. The reality behind the reality. Perhaps, that is what's happening in this world. The world being turned into fiction. Isn't that at least scary? The narrative style of Chuck in Haunted is really incomparable. And this book of his, hits a lot of things. Obviously, you might know what those things are. The book is definitely Haunted. The cover of the book should be given beyond five stars. Now, let me clap with one hand. Easily the most disgusting book i've ever read. There's an afterword at the end where he talks about how books are the only medium where you have free range to tell the story however you want to tell it, to say whatever you want to say. Whereas in movies, you're trying to hit a certain audience and your work is censored and edited to a certain extent. Books alow you to travel to this deep, dark secret private place inside yourself. That's why he writes. A very compelling explanation. I think one easily the most disgusting book i've ever read. There's an afterword at the end where he talks about how books are the only medium where you have free range to tell the story however you want to tell it, to say whatever you want to say. Whereas in movies, you're trying to hit a certain audience and your work is censored and edited to a certain extent. Books alow you to travel to this deep, dark secret private place inside yourself. That's why he writes. A very compelling explanation. I think one of the major themes of the books is that we are all haunted. We all have our own demons and that the truth is much more terrifying than fiction. Perhaps the scariest thing about Haunted is this: Late one night while i read i noticed i was starting to nod off. I placed the book on my bedside table and turned out the light. As i laid my head down on the bed i noticed a large blurry glow out of the corner of my eye. Sitting up, I took my glasses from the table and as i slid them up my nose i let out a little scream. A big, bug eyed ghost like face was staring back at me. None other than the face on the cover of Haunted. Word of advice: keep the book in a drawer at night. Ok this was a mammoth read- not because of it's 400+ pages or that the author decided to use words which would have scored double points in a Scrabble game - now simply because there is SO much going on. Which is great for a book to read but terrible to comment about when you have a self imposed rule of no spoilers. Well here goes but I promise nothing (apart from a headache) The book follows a group of less than conventional and stereotypical struggling authors desperate to finish/tell their var Ok this was a mammoth read- not because of it's 400+ pages or that the author decided to use words which would have scored double points in a Scrabble game - now simply because there is SO much going on. Which is great for a book to read but terrible to comment about when you have a self imposed rule of no spoilers. Well here goes but I promise nothing (apart from a headache) The book follows a group of less than conventional and stereotypical struggling authors desperate to finish/tell their various tales. And this is where things start getting tricky - you see there are stories within stories like an onion skin but rather than them being simple distractions or allegories for a different tale you quickly realise they are in fact something else. They are part of over all narrative giving both colour and depth to the authors in the group along with filling in some of the blanks the first part of the story has. They you have connecting pieces these are in effect a bridge between the two parts of the story. These give a different perspective and act as an interlude as you shift from one story to the next but without leaving sight of the first (if that makes sense) Which you quickly realise something different again. After all considering the circumstances of writers group how can you have story told by a 3rd person unless someone in the group takes up the role of narrator but then it throws the aspects of the story up in the air once again. In short there is a lot going on and I will admit that were several times when i had to stop and re-read something for my brain to add in the dotting line and light bulb finally is able to go on. I know that Chuck Palahniuk is a highly accomplished author who has many famous accolades to his name which to me can be a knife that cuts both ways. Yes he may be worthy of the praise and his works are joys to hold and read but it also sets the bar so high that disappointment is an almost accepted conclusion. Well I can tell you this is not the case - yes there are cases when you want to shout at the characters, want to slap them or just turn away in disgust but to see it through is more compelling and I must admit I am glad that I did but like I say this is not an easy book to read. True to form, Palahniuk pens some of the most twisted F'd up characterizations in the business. Bizarre and disturbing, for sure. Prolapsed pearl diving, back alley foot jobs, Breather Betty dolls full of love, Punch a mime for $5, the bowling ball bans. What more do you want? Thumectomys, nightmare boxes, crab lice and Sasquatch cyclesyep. It’s in there. Palahniuk’s style is undeniable. Cutting dialog, over the top eccentric characters, demented plotting, all sprinkled with a generous amounts o True to form, Palahniuk pens some of the most twisted F'd up characterizations in the business. Bizarre and disturbing, for sure. Prolapsed pearl diving, back alley foot jobs, Breather Betty dolls full of love, Punch a mime for $5, the bowling ball bans. What more do you want? Thumectomys, nightmare boxes, crab lice and Sasquatch cyclesyep. It’s in there. Palahniuk’s style is undeniable. Cutting dialog, over the top eccentric characters, demented plotting, all sprinkled with a generous amounts of humor and satire. I would expect nothing less. 3.5 Stars and recommended for all Palahniukians. Onstage, instead of a spotlight, a movie fragment I had no expectations when I started to read this book, well yeah I did I expected not to like it and most of all I expected not to 'get' it. It's been on my to read list for an age now and I've always put it off expecting it to be one of those cool books that all your friends read and you feel dumb because it just goes right over your head. And before I started I did scroll through a few reviews here on Goodreads and saw that it had a lot of very Onstage, instead of a spotlight, a movie fragment I had no expectations when I started to read this book, well yeah I did I expected not to like it and most of all I expected not to 'get' it. It's been on my to read list for an age now and I've always put it off expecting it to be one of those cool books that all your friends read and you feel dumb because it just goes right over your head. And before I started I did scroll through a few reviews here on Goodreads and saw that it had a lot of very good reviews and alot of very bad. This leads me to feel that this book is like Marmite, you either love it or you hate it. I loved it and feel I may have read far to much into it rather than have it go over my head. This book reminds me of a warped version of 1984 by George Orwell with the friendly ghost being the big brother that watches these people he's locked up until they share their stories. The stories themselves (most off the time) are so far fetched and gore infested that you feel yourself feeling sick or spontaneously laughing out loud, carrot cake in the butt to people who have everything yet choose to live with nothing. Although this book is a gore feast and a complete mindfuck I could not help relating some of the parts and references to a representation of real life and I feel Chuck Palahniuk based it on the song Hotel California You can check out anytime you like but you can never leave where the controllers in the book represent some of the worlds current events, war, supposed government control etc (this is were I may have read to much into it) Instead, Miss America asks, Is this how it will go? Her voice shrill and shaky, a bird's song. Will this be just one horrible event after another after another after another—until we're all dead? Either way this book makes you think, laugh and cringe and the only way to find out if you'd like it is to read it. But hurry the members of the writers retreat are waiting for you to rescue them (don't rush) so they'll be famous;-p And someday soon, any day now, the world will come open that door and rescue us. The world will listen. Starting on that sun-glorious day, the whole world is going to love us. ★★★★★ = Best book Ever! Hmmm, this is a toughy. I made the mistake of reading a couple of reviews on Haunted while I was halfway through the novel. Needless to say, it didn;t change the way I felt. I can't help but notice that readers of Haunted go to two different extremes in their reviews. Let's face it - you're either a Palahniuk fan or you're not. Anyone that has read a Palahniuk novel before knows what they are getting themselves into. You are going to feel gritty, you're going to feel dirty and you're going to ha Hmmm, this is a toughy. I made the mistake of reading a couple of reviews on Haunted while I was halfway through the novel. Needless to say, it didn;t change the way I felt. I can't help but notice that readers of Haunted go to two different extremes in their reviews. Let's face it - you're either a Palahniuk fan or you're not. Anyone that has read a Palahniuk novel before knows what they are getting themselves into. You are going to feel gritty, you're going to feel dirty and you're going to hate and love each of his characters within the same sentence. Here's the beauty. (Yes, there's beauty in this book.) Anyone can write about gore, dismemberment, 'Guts', and a whole slew of unappetizing subjects, BUT no one can put you in the moment like good ol' Chuck. No one can make you put down a book and stare into space, recounting the horrific moment you just read over and over again, trying to put yourself in this situation and actually liking it. That's the beauty of a Palahniuk novel- you might need to take a break from him from time to time, but you'll always find yourself coming back. I adore scary. I love being scared by movies and books. I'm a little less brave by real-life situations - as a kid I loved the idea of haunted houses at Halloween, but each year, without fail, I wouldn't even make it through a haunted house without my dad having to carry me out an emergency exit because it was all just too much. It became sort of a family joke. I wanted to make it through, I wanted to enjoy being scared, but it was too close to me, I didn't have control over it, and therefore, I I adore scary. I love being scared by movies and books. I'm a little less brave by real-life situations - as a kid I loved the idea of haunted houses at Halloween, but each year, without fail, I wouldn't even make it through a haunted house without my dad having to carry me out an emergency exit because it was all just too much. It became sort of a family joke. I wanted to make it through, I wanted to enjoy being scared, but it was too close to me, I didn't have control over it, and therefore, I couldn't have fun with it. (I have since been able to handle Halloween haunted houses, by the way, in case you were wondering. I've learned how to have fun with it. Sort of.) The sorts of movies and books I like are the ones that involve ghosts, even demons, exorcisms are fine, some alien-horror stuff, stuff that you can't see, my imagination is the scariest place I know, so movies or books that only touch on the problem without showing me anything, or just shadows, or noises, or swelling music - that's the sort of stuff I like. Movies and books that are more for the gore (I think they call it 'torture porn', right?) doesn't work for me. It's dumb, it's silly, it's not enjoyable. Look, more blood, more guts, more sexually-based attacks and killings, more in-your-face gore. What is that? That's not enjoyable to me, that's shock value, that's someone who can't tell a story so makes up for it with stuff that shocks the viewer and reader. It's why this wasn't that good. It's why Palahniuk (and the public) give so much attention to the fact that (at the time of this writing) 73 people passed out at Palahniuk's readings of the story included here, 'Guts'. It's not a good story, because Palahniuk doesn't appear to be a particularly good writer, but there's a story behind the story, and that's what people are fascinated with. Drama, it's just like Palahniuk stated throughout this book (paraphrasing here), that people love drama, they'll create the drama if it doesn't already exist, life is boring without it. I don't disagree. But I also try not to associate with the people who take it too far. They might not be bad people, but their interests don't always interest me. This is the sort of book I would have enjoyed in high school when I was reading and and thought cutting-edge literature meant that it was good literature. Mostly because I didn't know better, mostly because I thought I was making a statement, mostly because I was impressionable. And now I'm not. I'm older, I know better, I've read more, I've lived more, and I know what kind of things impress me. These stories didn't impress me. I haven't read anything else by Palahniuk before, and I wouldn't have read this on my own either, but did so now because it was the next choice at my real-life book club and I will read all teh books because that's how I roll. I gave it a chance and it let me down. I'm a pretty strong person, I have a somewhat iron stomach, I work in the medical field and I see pictures of really gross things sometimes. I hear stories of even grosser things, sometimes while I'm eating my lunch. I'm actually interested in it. But there's a reason for those stories, they are learning experiences for the people telling them, for the people listening to them, and for me who genuinely finds so much interesting in the world around me. It seems to me that Palahniuk wants to make a statement about the world around him but chooses to do so in a shock-value manner, as if his stories might not stand well on their own unless there was this stuff propping it up. 'Hey, come see me read, read my book, see if you're strong enough not to puke or pass out, I dare you.' I don't need to be dared, thankyouverymuch. Just write a solid book that stands on its own, stop trying to impress your public, stop trying to be cutting-edge and cool because it doesn't work. I give this two stars because I could actually finish it and I understood what Palahniuk was trying to say. But it's not as smart as he wants to pretend it is. And two stars because I'm fucking happy to be done reading it. And also, two stars because the cover glows in the dark and almost gave my boyfriend a heart attack. This is a bad book barely held together by fleeting and brief moments of fantastic insight. Just when I felt like I was wasting my time and the novel couldn't get any more disgusting, stupid, boring, or any other negative sentiment, it would then turn for just a brief second and capture my interest fully and completely. At these dispersed points the book would almost redeem itself. Then, within no time at all, the nice respite from the garbage prose would come to an end and the author would then This is a bad book barely held together by fleeting and brief moments of fantastic insight. Just when I felt like I was wasting my time and the novel couldn't get any more disgusting, stupid, boring, or any other negative sentiment, it would then turn for just a brief second and capture my interest fully and completely. At these dispersed points the book would almost redeem itself. Then, within no time at all, the nice respite from the garbage prose would come to an end and the author would then resume his contrived and gimmicky (and also badly written) prose found throughout Haunted. I couldn't help but think about the movie Fight Club when I read this novel, which is a glaring indication that Palahniuk is a one trick pony. The dialogue, the plot, the outlandish events—it was like Palahniuk was just trying to redo and at the same time outdo what he has already written. What else can I say? This books sucks. It'll make a reader's skin crawl and feel there is no hope for humanity—if humanity has ever existed at all anyway. However, simultaneously, these reactions are also true feelings, guttural, visceral, real—human. And therein lies that quirky and depressing insight. Written in stolen moments under truck chassis and on park benches to a soundtrack of The Downward Spiral and Pablo Honey, Fight Club came into existence. The adaptation of Fight Club was a flop at the box office, but achieved cult status on DVD. The film’s popularity drove sales of the novel. Chuck put out two novels in 1999, Survivor and Invisible Monsters. Choke, published in 2001, became Chuck’ Written in stolen moments under truck chassis and on park benches to a soundtrack of The Downward Spiral and Pablo Honey, Fight Club came into existence. The adaptation of Fight Club was a flop at the box office, but achieved cult status on DVD. The film’s popularity drove sales of the novel. Chuck put out two novels in 1999, Survivor and Invisible Monsters. Choke, published in 2001, became Chuck’s first New York Times bestseller. Chuck’s work has always been infused with personal experience, and his next novel, Lullaby, was no exception. Chuck credits writing Lullaby with helping him cope with the tragic death of his father. Diary and the non-fiction guide to Portland, Fugitives and Refugees, were released in 2003. While on the road in support of Diary, Chuck began reading a short story entitled 'Guts,' which would eventually become part of the novel Haunted. In the years that followed, he continued to write, publishing the bestselling Rant, Snuff, Pygmy, Tell-All, a 'remix' of Invisible Monsters, Damned, and most recently, Doomed. Chuck also enjoys giving back to his fans, and teaching the art of storytelling has been an important part of that. In 2004, Chuck began submitting essays to ChuckPalahniuk.net on the craft of writing. These were 'How To' pieces, straight out of Chuck's personal bag of tricks, based on the tenants of minimalism he learned from Tom Spanbauer. Every month, a “Homework Assignment” would accompany the lesson, so Workshop members could apply what they had learned. (all 36 of these essays can currently be found on The Cult's sister-site, LitReactor.com). Then, in 2009, Chuck increased his involvement by committing to read and review a selection of fan-written stories each month. The best stories are currently set to be published in Burnt Tongues, a forthcoming anthology, with an introduction written by Chuck himself. His next novel, Beautiful You, is due out in October 2014.
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